


Like Word Throw-Up

by battybatzgirl



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Clint finds everything too funny, M/M, Natasha just wants them to kiss already, Steve is adorable, Tony Being Tony, beverages from Loki should never be trusted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-13
Updated: 2013-05-13
Packaged: 2017-12-11 17:25:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/801242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/battybatzgirl/pseuds/battybatzgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki slips Steve some truth serum, and Tony can't help but take advantage of that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like Word Throw-Up

Tony really should have known by now that whenever Loki smiled, something was seriously wrong. The porcelain skinned god lived up to his title as a Trickster, popping into the Avengers mansion every now and then, setting fire to this or blowing up that. The first few times it had happened, everyone rushed to Thor, wondering if this was a new version of subtle war that only Asgardians were accustomed to. Thor replied no, and smiled slightly, explaining that this was basically Loki's way of showing affection.

Honestly, why couldn't the god fist-bump like Tony or hug fiercely like his brother? Tony just decided to classify it under the weird-as-shit category (which was becoming more and more filled ever since the Avengers had become official) and moved on with his life.

Well, he tried.

See, He really couldn't move on with his life because of Steve. Stupid Steve-hot-as-hell-Rogers, who had basically wormed his way underneath Tony's skin and simply stayed there. At first, Tony had ignored it, but it had gotten worse. His heart seemed to pick up speed whenever Steve would smile and pat him on the back, whenever Steve would ask what he was currently working on and actually care, whenever Steve asked if he could mess around with one of Tony's cars, or whenever Tony woke up in the morning and no one else was up except for Steve, who was making Tony breakfast and had already brewed his coffee. Oh yeah, and whenever Steve blushed, which apparently happed a lot because Steve was from the golden age of chivalry and had such an innocent mind and whatnot.

It was when Tony had one day gotten called out by Clint, who caught him humming the Captain America theme song, that he finally realized just how head-over-heels he was for Steve. Clint had doubled over in laugher at Tony's expression and had to wipe the tears from his eyes, the bastard.

So long story short, Clint knew, and because Clint knew Natasha knew, and because Natasha knew Bruce knew, and because Bruce knew…Well, Thor didn't really understand anything unless it was explained in thorough detail, and Steve was too naive to figure out that basically everyone else knew something that he didn't.

Somehow, apparently Loki got mixed up in the gossip (and Tony wouldn't be surprised, apparently the god of lying has some scandalous connections back on Asgard) and he knew too. Which brings Tony to his final and most firm analysis that he has ever made in his life: When Loki was smiling, it meant trouble.

The god had startled Tony in his lab. Tony had been working on his new and desperately needed-by-the-government-for-the-safety-of-the-universe project (…actually, it was Steve's cell phone. Steve had been complaining non-stop about new technology and Tony vowed to do everything in his power to make it easier on the super-soldier by making the touch screen, buttons, and system so easy a three year old could work it. Hopefully Steve. If not, then Tony would not object to teaching Steve how to use it. Anything to get alone time with the Cap, and holy shit, when did Tony become such a sap?) when Loki popped up. Tony had been rewiring the whole phone and was almost done, he just needed the wire cutter, and as he was reaching for it, he was greeted by a POP and a suddenly very close Norse god.

Tony cursed, flailed, and nearly fell backwards off his chair. Loki had a nasty habit of simply popping up out of nowhere and it was seriously getting annoying. Tony honestly doesn't know how Thor could have grown up with this guy and not be driven insane.

"Loki? What the hell?" demanded Tony, getting his bearings, taking his goggles off his face and sending a full-force death glare at the dark-haired god. He was slightly shocked to see Loki's thin lips curled up in a smile, his eyes gleaming with mischief, his pale cheeks slightly flushed as if he had just ran from somewhere.

"Hello, dear Tony," said Loki, his voice smooth but Tony could easily hear the excitement in it. "How are you?"

"Well, I was a whole lot better a couple of seconds ago before you nearly gave me a heart attack with your stupid random popping up thing that you do," quipped Tony.

"It's called teleporting, human, and for your information it is a very difficult task to master," said Loki and Tony almost asks how he does it, because he and Bruce have been discussing the possibility of inventing something that could teleport a person from one side of the world to another and it would be pretty cool to have a god's point of view on it—

No. Focus, Tony. Evil god in front of you is smiling. That's not good.

"Yeah whatever," shrugged Tony, and stopped the question of do you think it's possible to invent something that could teleport a man from coming out of his mouth like a pro. "So, million dollar question: why are you in my lab? Or, better yet, why are you smiling? (It's kind of creepy)."

"Actually, I came to talk to you about something," started Loki, walking around Tony's chair and he starts picking at random things on Tony's desk. "A rather pressing—and annoying, if you ask me, but pressing according to your friends—matter involving you and the Captain of your country."

It takes Tony a couple seconds to figure out that Loki means Steve, and when he does, something warm rises up in his chest no matter how hard he tries to fight it.

"What the hell do you want with Steve?" demanded Tony, suddenly fierce and surprised at himself because hell, who knew him to be so protective over someone he was basically in love with?

"There is something going on between you two," stated the god, cocking his head as he looked over an equation on a dry-erase board that Tony and Bruce had been trying to solve for days now. "I'm assuming that it is not platonic."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Tony answered automatically. Because seriously, for Loki of all people to know about Tony and Steve's love-affair-that-wasn't, it might as well have been published in the newspaper by now.

"I'm the god of lying, Tony," said Loki calmly. "If you are going to lie, at least try to put some effort into it." Loki picks up a marker, uncaps it, and writes something on the board, ignoring Tony's command to not touch it. Tony storms over to him and grabbed the marker from his hand, only to look at the board and suddenly realize that Loki just solved the unsolvable equation.

Tony sighs. Fuck, if he's listening to Loki, there's something seriously wrong with him. "Alright, so I like Steve. Big whoop. You happy now?"

"Not quite. As I said before, your friends have been making such a fuss about you two, I decided to take manners into my own hands."

Tony didn't realize that he had grabbed Loki and started shaking him at first. All he could see was red, imagining what kind of hell Loki could have inflicted on Steve. His Steve. "If you even touched him, I swear to God I'll—"

Loki somehow used his magic to get out of his grip, because Tony was suddenly holding nothing but air and was lividly glaring at the raven-haired man who was now on the other side of the lab.

"No need to get testy, I didn't harm him," said Loki, rolling his eyes.

"What exactly did you do to him?"

"Nothing drastic, I assure you. In fact, I do believe you'll be thanking me later for it."

"What did you do?" Tony nearly shouted, getting frustrated with the god and resisting the urge to run upstairs and check on Steve.

"Ask him how he feels about you," said Loki, that stupid smile of his back and Tony just wanted to punch it off his face.

"Why would I—?" Tony started, but there was another POP and Loki was gone. Groaning at the possibilities of what the god of mischief could have done, he quickly exited his lab and headed upstairs. He needed to make sure that Steve was still Steve and not a kitten or something. Because knowing Loki, that was a good possibility.

When he got upstairs, he found Clint and Natasha in the kitchen, Steve sitting at the bar, his head down on the counter. Clint was laughing and Natasha had a grin on her face.

"Guys!" cried Tony. "Oh God, Steve, are you alright?" He turned to the two assassins. "Loki didn't kill him, did he?"

"Loki did this?" asked Steve, raising his head off the counter, his blonde hair tussled and his bangs were falling in front of his eyes and his face had a slight flush to it and his eyes were so big and blue and fucking innocent—

Focus, Tony.

Steve groaned and slammed his head back down onto the counter, muttering, "I should have never taken that coffee from him. I don't even like coffee. Why am I so stupid?"

"I don't know," said Clint, grinning so widely Tony wondered why his face hadn't broken in half yet. "But I do want to know what happened when Bucky's sister asked you to model her dress for her while her mom sowed it. Did you do it?"

Steve lifted his face from the table, his expression weary as he sighed loudly. "I had to," he said. "Bucky's sister loved me and I would have felt bad if I had said no! I had a girlish figure when I was younger anyway, and the blue matched my eyes," Steve said in a rush, his face promptly turning red as soon as he finished. He hit his head against the marble countertop as Clint broke out into hysterics.

"Shut up!" Steve weakly protested.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" asked Tony, raising an eyebrow, addressing Natasha because at least she wasn't practically on the floor laughing her head off like her collogue.

"We think Loki slipped him a truth serum in his coffee," explained the redhead. "Now Steve can't exactly control what comes out of his mouth."

"It's awesome!" gasped Clint, who was clutching his sides.

"It's not awesome! What's awesome is how Tony can invent basically anything! I mean, how cool is that?" piped up Steve suddenly, raising his head and looked directly at Tony. The Captain blinked, and then muttered, "Sorry, I don't know where that came from."

Tony blinked. This is what Loki had done? This was his master plan of evilness? It wasn't that bad, actually. Well, at least not for him. For poor Steve, it was probably a nightmare. Suddenly, Loki's words came rushing back to him: Ask him how he feels about you.

An evil, evil thought came into Tony's head. It was like a sign from the universe, and—sorry Steve—there was no way in hell he was ever going to give up an opportunity like this.

"So Steve," began Tony, "you took coffee from Loki and didn't know it was hyped up on truth-juice?"

"No," replied Steve, "of course I didn't know. If I knew do you think I would have taken it? I still don't know why I even did, I don't even drink coffee. I normally get up in the morning to make coffee and breakfast for you, Tony. I never make any for myself."

"Aww," said Clint, "you've already got him trained as your housewife, Stark." Then, he turned to Steve, "Do you like having breakfast with Tony?"

"Yes," answered Steve, his ears turning red, "it's my favorite part of the day. I think waking up and making breakfast for Tony is the second best thing that I could ever do with him."

"What's the first?" asked Clint quickly, grinning like a maniac, or like a kid on a sugar high. Tony thinks that he's going way too far with this but at the same time he really wants to hear Steve's answer.

"I…," Steve presses his lips together in a firm line, determined not to say a word, his expression one of deep concentration. His will is broken, however, when his whole face sort of twitches and his mouth is opened by an unnatural force. "The first would be waking up next to him in bed."

At this, Clint doesn't laugh, only shoots Tony a knowing look as Steve's face turns so red that he's practically glowing. He has the decency to hide his face in his hands (which Tony wishes he really wouldn't do, because Steve is fucking adorable when he blushes and now is not an exception).

Natasha breaks the silence. "C'mon Clint, let's go try to find Loki and get him to reverse this. Tony, why don't you take Steve back to your room and get this all sorted out." Tony catches the message in those words: go somewhere and kiss him, dammit!

"Good idea," says Tony, and grabs one of Steve's wrists, unceremoniously hauling the super-soldier up from his chair and dragging him out of the room. Steve kept one of his hands up over his mouth as Tony dragged him through the mansion. When they reached Tony's room, Steve made a comment but Tony didn't catch it due to the veteran's hand being over his mouth.

"What was that?" asked Tony.

"You're amazing," repeated Steve sheepishly, cringing and flushing again. Tony grinned as he opened the door to his room and pulled the soldier in after him.

"So, now that we are alone…," started Tony, and Steve's eyes widened.

"Tony, please, don't—"

"Too late, I'm already doing it! Do you like me?"

"Yes."

"How much do you like me?"

"More than being your friend."

"Oh really?"

"Really," muttered Steve, covering his face with both of his hands. He looked like he simply wanted to curl up and die, but Tony wasn't done with him yet. He was having too much fun embarrassing Steve, he really was.

"So, oh wonderful super-soldier of mine," said Tony, not even trying to hide his grin anymore as he took the other man's wrists in his hands and pushed Steve backwards towards his bed. (Steve got uncoordinated when he was embarrassed—a factoid that Tony had learned the hard way during a press conference. A woman had complemented Steve on singlehandedly saving a kid from a burning building and he flushed and nearly knocked over the microphone he was supposed to be speaking into.) "Do you love me?"

Steve's head snapped up, his eyes wide like a deer's caught in a headlight. But, of course, that didn't stop his mouth from opening.

"Yes, I love you. Or, at least I think I do. I thought I loved Peggy, but I never felt anything like this for her and you're you and you're so much better than her."

Something inside of Tony's chest swelled, and his grin widened. "I'm better than Peggy, huh? How much better am I? How much do you love me, Steve?"

Steve made a little noise of surprise as the back of his knees hit the bed, sending him falling backwards onto the soft mattress. Tony pulled him up into a sitting position (he still hadn't let go of Steve's wrists) and silently urged him to talk.

"I think I might have loved you since the day I first met you. I think you're the greatest person in the whole entire world, even if you are selfish and self-centered. I can't stop thinking about you when you're not with me, and when you're with me I want to be next to you. Every time I see you I get butterflies in my stomach and I feel dizzy, but in a good way. I want to wake up in the morning in your arms and feel safe and warm and loved. I don't want you to ever to feel alone—I know you do sometimes—because I want you to know that you always have me and I'll always be there for you and I won't ever leave you. I want you, Tony. I want to be with you. I love you," finished Steve softly. Tony was now mere centimeters away from Steve, their noses almost brushing.

"And what do you want to do now?" whispered Tony, his breath ghosting across Steve's lips. Steve licked his lips and Tony nearly groaned following the action.

"I really want to kiss you," admitted Steve.

Tony wasted no time complying. The billionaire leaned forward and closed the gap between their lips, pressing his against Steve's. Steve responded to the kiss and made a happy little noise, then leaned closer to Tony to deepen the kiss. Tony traced his tongue across Steve's lips before biting gently on the soldier's bottom lip, using his gasp to gain entrance into the other man's mouth. Their tongues battled for dominance and Steve gave up at one point, letting Tony sweep across the inside of his mouth before air became vital. They both pulled back, and Tony couldn't help but admire Steve and his sexiness. His hair was tousled, his cheeks flushed, his pupils dilated and lust-blown, his lips red and swollen and his chest rose and fell with each one of his heavy breaths. Fuck, he was beautiful.

"I love you, too," said Tony, and Steve smiled, turning even more beautiful if that was even humanly possible. Tony was about to swoop in for another kiss because now, he could kiss Steve, Steve was his and he was Steve's and they were finally together and Steve loved him—!

POP! A grinning Norse god of mischief was the worst buzz kill in the history of everything, Tony decided.

"Tony," said Loki, "it it now later. You may thank me now."

"I'll thank you, all right," growled Tony, moving away from Steve to grab his alarm clock off of his nightstand before chucking it at Loki. The god disappeared before the clock made contact, so it shattered and broke on the floor.

"Bastard!" Tony shouted after him.

"What did he mean by, 'thank me now'?" questioned Steve, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing, darling," replied Tony, still glaring daggers at where the god had been thirty seconds ago.

"Darling?" Steve repeated.

"What, you don't like it?" asked Tony, turning his attention back to Steve.

"No, I don't mind actually. I think it's kind of endearing," said Steve.

"Ha," laughed Tony, "endearing. I could probably come up with a good pun for that and use it on Clint. Oh yeah, he'd never see it coming!"

"Tony?"

"Yes, honey?"

"Shut up and kiss me."


End file.
